?

Log in

No account? Create an account
Simple Confusion of a Reckless Mind [entries|friends|calendar]
writingnoise

[ website | Xanga ]
[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

a night with the gang [03 Jun 2006|01:27am]
[ mood | amused ]

I love the nights when everyone has gone to bed and I am left by myself to enjoy re-heated leftovers and late night TV. How Will & Grace went unbeknownst to me for so many years is a mystery. The same applies to Saturday Night Live. All hail Jimmy Fallon.

Conan O'Brien is a funny, funny guy. His comparison drawn between Ruth Bader Ginsberg and Gollum had me laughing hard and loud enough to wake the sleepy town of Monticello slap up, but they had it coming. They'd have been watching Conan, too, if they knew what was good for them.

Imogen Heap performed on Leno. I say "performed" because I'm not sure that a keyboard, synthesizer, and Apple laptop counts as "playing music." Nonetheless, I love her creepy UK goodness.

Zooey Deschanael and Jack's Mannequin *drools* were going to be on Carson Daily, but not until the latter part of the 1:35-2:35 a.m. block. I'd stay up for it, but I finished off the last of the leftovers, and where's the fun in that?

Oh, me. Heaven forbid I end up single in my late twenties... 'twould be a tragic collision of microwaves and televised comedy.

Goodnight.

post comment

[31 May 2006|08:21pm]
[ mood | sore ]

It's that time again.

My ankle is hurting, my feet are mangled, and every muscle in my body is stiff and sore. I hate watching the girls work like dogs on the court and being restricted to ball handling drills and the like. If nothing else, I will be able to shoot and dribble a basketball this season.

And tomorrow, I'll go at it again...

But I wouldn't have it any other way. I love this. I have needed this. I am so ready for this.

post comment

[20 May 2006|01:41pm]
Well, after four crazy months, Latin I is finished. I didn't do so hot on the exam, and it bumped my grade down two points, but I somehow pulled through with an A. I am trying to content myself with that.

In other news, I am really not sure that there is anything to relate. Perhaps I will get the urge to think harder at a later time. Right now I'm going to go do nothing. Enjoy.
post comment

[12 May 2006|11:29pm]
[ mood | sad ]

OH I SWEAR! Just when you're beginning to believe that your heart is no longer broken and to think, "Wow, glad that's over," another blow confirms it: sure enough, that heart's still broken.

This blows, literally.

2 comments|post comment

[11 May 2006|12:24am]
[ mood | tired ]

My new Bible came. It's hard, because I don't know it very well, but really, really cool because I feel like I'm starting fresh with the Word. The Word that is Christ. Starting fresh with Christ. New heart, the old is gone. New eyes, the blindness is gone. New pages, without the duct tape. :)

post comment

[08 May 2006|01:47pm]
[ mood | excited ]

Freaking woot.

After all of the many weeks of stressing about my schedule next year, here's what I'm going to do, God willing.

Six classes, instead of seven.
American History
English III
Algebra II
Latin II
Anatomy/Physiology
Online Elective, possibly that will count for college credit.
I had planned on ixnaying my study hall and opting instead to add a second elective, probably an English, more probably something to knock out a base college course, for the sole purpose of thus- that the more courses I take and the higher my average in all of them, the better my resume and therefore my shot at val/sal.

That's stupid. That's pure pride. What's not prideful is that there is not a doubt in my mind that I'll get into whatever college I want to go to, it's not like I'm applying to Harvard or Yale... no matter how fabulous that would be. So if I'm going to get in, despite whether or not I beat out the academic genius that is the person of my best friend, Nicole Wilson, for valedictorian, or excel above the new kid Justin, who is uncomfortably close behind Nicole and I, why does it matter so much to me? Obviously, I want to be the best. But I want to earn it, and if Nicole or Justin prevail, more power to them. I'll get third, and that's okay, because it will have been what I deserved. (I'm not going to mention how if I HADN'T skipped first grade and if I were in the class I'm supposed to be I'd have valedictorian without even trying. Nope, not even going to mention it.) There's no point in this train of thought: I need to get val or sal in order to get into college. No, I WILL get into college, and I'll get into a good college, and I'll study there just as I studied in highschool, and it won't matter whether or not I got valedictorian of my graduating class, because if I am where God wants me to be, then that's just it. I'm where God wants me to be and I got there how He planned.

However, this is all to make room for basketball. I had pretty much determined that I wasn't going to play, a) because of my ankle and b) because of my seven classes that require a 95 or above. (I'm not letting go of special distinction. Ask me to let go of val/sal, just don't ask me to let go of SD.) Basketball + One Act Play + Seven Honors Classes + Track + Oral Interpretation + Competitive Essays + a hot pursuit of God = oh snap, Lydia is a basketcase. There's no reason to put myself through that and still expect to excel in all areas. If I let go of basketball, I could make room for academics, and consequentially, my pride. Elbow the pride out however and there is room for a hobby that I actually do enjoy to a rather healthy extent. Basketball makes me happy, it balances out the hyperactive mental processes that I have and allows me to plug into a different outlet. Why give that up? I had planned on it, but today I was up at the school and Coach Roberts asked if I was coming back to Piedmont next year, and if I was planning on playing basketball for him. That did it. I couldn't say no, but I didn't say yes. I said I'd think about it. I've also got this ankle to be concerned about. So here's the plan that took altogether too long to get around to:
I'm going to practice with the team this summer. A few weeks of daily practice in June, 25 or so workouts, three days of camp (oh my flippin gosh. basketball camp = love.), and the post-summer scrimmage. I'll just see if my ankle is going to hold out. If it doesn't, and I re-injur it, I've got the rest of the summer to recuperate, and I'll know that basketball is not in store for me, and I can go back to my seven precious classes. If my ankle does hold though, I'll take six classes, have a study hall, and manage my time like nobody's business. It's going to be hard, just as hard as it was freshman year, harder, in fact, because I'll have a real sixth class instead of a crip, but this year of homeschooling I think has prepared me for that. I know how to study. I know how to manage my time. I know how to set and make weekly deadlines and goals for myself. My OCD about organization has gotten worse, which is code for better, because you can never be too organized. I'm just ready. I'm ready for a busy year, and I'm ready to SUCCEED in a busy year, and I'm ready to glorify God by being well-rounded. I'm just ready for this.

All in all, it's a lot of words for a little fact:
Down with my pride, up with God's plan.

post comment

[05 May 2006|09:17pm]
I have really got to stop hanging out with my parents...
I haven't gotten together with my friends in weeks, I'm dying. Yes, death by means of igloo social life.
post comment

[04 May 2006|03:56pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]

For all of the thoughts unworthy of the occasional xanga or myspace blog posts, and for all of the eyes unlikely to read any of the three, I give you livejournal... again.

I miss having a gang. Maybe I'm just not a gangst- nevermind.

I'm learning to love change, especially in myself. I went back and read a lot of these old entries and couldn't help but gag at the superficiality and insecurity running deep in so much of it. If anything, this year away from school has amped up my confidence. I didn't realize how obnoxious lack of it could be. And I realize that a few months from now, I will read through old journals of mine and have the same feeling, but for now I'm glad that I am who I am now, and not who I was last year, or month, or week, or yesterday. And tomorrow, I'll be glad that I'm not who I was today.

post comment

[05 Feb 2006|01:45pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]

I'm baaaack. for now. We'll see how it goes.

I was going to go play with Sara and James today, but circumstances intervened and prevented that from happening. Now I get to be stressed all by myself! Woot.

Latin is killing me. I make stupid mistakes that lead to 60's on daily work and 50's on quizzes. Help, please.

It's cold out. And too sunny. I really don't like light, I prefer dark rooms suitable to wallowing. I'm a wallower. You'll be okay.

That's all.

post comment

[25 Aug 2005|11:03pm]
[ mood | good ]

Well folks, this livejournal thing just isn't working out. If you're still interested after my long absence, xanga and myspace are up and running. www.xanga.com/purethymind && www.myspace.com/lydiagrace

It was fun.

post comment

"...I realize that falling down ain't graceful, but I thank the Lord that falling's full of grace" [04 Jun 2005|12:32am]
[ mood | confused ]

It is SO HARD to say no to something you want because you know that there is something you need more. I hate this. I want both, him and Him. But no matter how much I want anything, I have to resolve that...


Jesus Christ will satisfy me more fully, eternally, and completely than anything else offered at my feet. He is all I need.

9 comments|post comment

[21 Apr 2005|03:50pm]
[ mood | cranky ]

whoa..time for an update. school has been m o n o t o n o u s. dragging on week after week but never seeming to be closer to the end. just four(five?) more weeks. sam's not going to college next year. i guess he's just going to take a gap year and work or whatever..crap on a stick i wanted his room! this weekend was great, hung out with nicole on friday and emily, katie, allison, matt, austin, charissa, holly, rachel, nathan, and katie's nathan saturday night. we saw the interpreter. great movie--go see it. NOW. i'm so in love with sean penn *grin*. today in p.e. coach camp taught us how to swing dance. that was..uh..interesting? scary? whatever. i'm loving this john piper study at solid rock. it's soo amazing to see more joy in myself since starting it. i love seeing change in myself, even if it's not so obvious to others.

Isaiah 2:22
Stop trusting in man, who has but a breath in his nostrils. Of what account is he?

Great is the Lord and greatly to be praised.

post comment

[06 Apr 2005|12:29pm]
[ mood | excited ]

I AM EXCITED ABOUT:
1. prom
2. homeschooling
3. michelynne being 'the starlet'
4. getting TWO shakespeare anthologies from nicole
5. going to the mountains this weekend
6. the john piper study we are doing at solid rock
7. FINALLY getting glasses and thus eliminating these nasty little headaches
and dizzy spells
8. getting out of school
9. sam's graduation from highschool
10. getting sam's room *grin*

random? yes. cool? no. ideal waste of time? of course.
<3

2 comments|post comment

[30 Mar 2005|03:40pm]
[ mood | relaxed ]

this is going to be vague. if it gets on your nerves that you have no clue what i am talking about, sorry. it's just good for me to blurt stuff out. because then, at the very least, it's out.

it's really really really hard to see someone you care about hurting and feel helpless in the situation apart from prayer. i do pray and have been and will, but i want to DO something. i want to snap my fingers and make it all better for them because the mere fact that they are in pain just breaks my heart. and i don't like it.

...
If I had a magic wand of my own

I would wave it over me and over you
And over all this crazy world
And make it right
Oh and theres so much I'd change
If I could take the easy way!

...

The only way to really change
Is simple choices everyday
Obey the Spirit-whisper in my soul
With the help of God, a little time
Can change a heart, renew a mind
Without a magic wand He'll work a miracle
Without a magic wand He'll work a miracle
Without a magic wand He'll work a miracle



school has been fun lately. i guess i'm just not taking all of my friends for granted now that i know they won't be there next year. or, rather, i won't be there. it's good to realize what you've got, even if losing it is what you have to do to get there. but this is something i need to do. "trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding..." so i am trusting Him.

post comment

[28 Mar 2005|10:55pm]
[ mood | pensive ]

sOoOo...
I've pretty much decided that this journal is a waste of time. I type out long, monotonous, sometimes redundant entries that mean nothing to anyone but myself and benefit not even myself, except in that they allow me to speak my mind without actually speaking. which, I suppose, might be good if my mind said anything worth speaking, even if I am speaking to no one. and I quote the wonderful miss ryan nix when saying that,

"...everything that goes through my little head does not hold as much significance as I would like to think."

amen to that. perhaps I should stick to writing corny poetry, at least with that I can blame the generality and the cliches on youth, naive in its perception of everything being larger and more important than it really is.

3 comments|post comment

oh how i love Jesus, oh how i love Jesus, oh how i love Jesus because He first loved me... [24 Mar 2005|11:45pm]
[ mood | joyous ]

OH HOW I LOVE THE GOD OF MY SALVATION, THE LOVER OF MY SOUL.

post comment

[21 Mar 2005|08:13pm]
[ mood | ecstatic ]

:) I'm ecstatic :)
mom is being very open to this whole homeschooling prospect. yayyy. that makes me happy.

I'm totally going to prom. Nicole and I pulled the whole "I'll go if you go" deal. so we are going to do prom the frugal freshman way. in other words, goodwill, thrift shops, and the salvation army! so mom is taking us dress shopping sometime this week. and we'll do our own hair. and make up. and party like crazy. sweeet.

So. The Shakespeare Tavern is amazing, yes??? well, HAMLET is playing right now and I am dying to go see it!! Matthew Felten as Hamlet and Marc McPherson as Claudius. I don't even care who the rest of the cast is, those two make the entire show worth watching. yeah, I have some sucking up to do with the parents. *grin*

My only reason for non-ecstasy is such: I don't know if I can run track or not. :( tears. My cousin's wedding is the Saturday of state competition in Albany. The wedding is at six. Whit and I would have to leave Albany by AT LEAST two o'clock to be home by five thirty and at the farm by six. scaryyy!! hopefully, it will work out. I'll talk to Coach sometime soon.



<3

post comment

[15 Mar 2005|06:40pm]
[ mood | irritated ]

So Monday was another day. For no apparent reason, though, it was fun. We didn't do much at school...I guess...or maybe it just seems that way. Did really well on part one of the econ. test. laughed all of 4th period with Taylor C. in 2nd and 6th periods i pretty much just talked to Jennifer. Yeah. We want to homeschool our sophomore year. Sweet.
Got home, went to Target with my mom and picked up a new bag, flip flops(yessss) and the new Hawthorne Heights CD. Rockin. Saw Brittney. Which was cool. And Austin Miller. Which was weird. Then we headed on over to CiCi's. 2 large pepperoni pizzas & 2 large apple dessert pizzas. heck yes, i'm a heifer. but I still have to finish like two of them *grin* ha. bliss.
So today was a load of crap. i'd explain but i run the risk of saying some things i can't take back. and since i've already had a run in with that(ashley..feeling your pain) i don't exactly want to experience it myself. yeah. let it suffice to say that i'm so sick of this school.
oh and i just found out that mark was held at gun point this weekend. yeah, that's comforting. and really really scary. glad you're okay, mark.

post comment

take advantage of your fleeting happiness... [13 Mar 2005|01:17pm]
[ mood | jubilant...what a great word.. ]

so...
alyssa dold is amazing. mae is amazing. gorgeous sunday afternoons are amazing. wind is amazing. big big front porches are amazing. and, despite its abundant difficulties, life is amazing.

post comment

[11 Mar 2005|04:55pm]
[ mood | melancholy ]

leaving? please no...

1 comment|post comment

navigation
[ viewing | most recent entries ]
[ go | earlier ]